Mormonism fiction facts

I have been out of the state of Utah a time or two... It is amazing to me the beliefs about Mormons that are still out there. Good entertainment for us on the inside looking out. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Mormons don't eat meat. Really? Where did that come from? This from a friend in California. I thought that's where all the vegetarians lived and everybody surfs and lives in houses about to be eaten by mudslides, burned by wildfires, or shaken into the ocean by earthquakes! My parents both grew up on farms.... we ate meat, potatoes, and corn. Seriously. We put ketchup on
EVERYTHING! My brother is the only person I know who wanted to put an industrial sized ketchup dispenser on his wall. Our family will panic if there's not at least 2 bottles of ketchup in our food storage. In fact, the brothers have been known to refuse dinner if there's no ketchup present. 2. Mormons are all polygamists. Okay, I can see where this comes from. I have seen polygamists, and I tell you what.... Those women are smart. There's always an excuse for something hanging around. Think about it... You're grumpy, it can always be someone else's fault because they had PMS and made you grumpy. I didn't get my housework done, one of the kids were sick... can you imagine how fast something contagious would go around? I can't go to work... I have tooooooo many kids! I had to go buy new clothes!!!! Everyone else's are clean but mine, there's so much laundry! Ah.... not tonight honey, go ask the neighbor. 3. Black people are not allowed in our churches. Hello? Gladys Knight! 'nuff said. 4. Mormons all have huge families. Well... Look at the Osmonds... Large famous family... incredibly talented... (I saw them once when I was in first grade... awesome performance that day I must say)... Thank heavens they were financially able to support themselves. We are proficient in naming all of our children with names that begin with the same letter. Guilty as charged with that one. Fertility was one thing I was blessed with. I managed to have 2 precious bundles with a man that was told he couldn't have any. Who knew???? 5. Mormons have webbed toes. Um... yes. That's why we were advised in General Conference not to wear flip flops to church a few years back. People find it disturbing. Makes for good swimming however. 6. Mormons HATE gay and lesbian people. Really. I happen to feel that we are all given agency to make choices in this life. I am not God... it is not my place to judge you for the choices that you make. I ask for the same courtesy and tolerance from others. 7. Mormonism is a cult. Yup. It's the additives in the green Jell-o and funeral potatoes. Brain washing additives. If you are not a Mormon, don't attempt to eat them! If loving our families is cultish activities.... sign me up for dancing under the harvest moon in my skivvies! All we want is to be together forever with those we love... and with Elvis. My mother promised to save us a seat near him. Now I'll give you a chance to process this wealth of information, and will post more fabul9ous fiction facts in another post.